The actual definition of a miscarriage is the spontaneous termination of a pregnancy before the 20th week. This unfortunate occurrence in life affects around 10 to 20 percent of women with known pregnancies, but the percentage is probably higher as miscarriages often happen early on in a pregnancy. Miscarriages can occur for a variety of reasons. No matter the reason, they can be an extremely traumatic experience to go through for many prospective parents, especially for the person who has physically gone through the ordeal. Going through a miscarriage as a couple can seriously test a relationship, but overcoming the shared experience can also bring two people closer together. If you and your partner have just lost a baby, it is important that you are there for each other. Here is a short guide about pregnancy loss and how you can support your partner after a miscarriage .
Understanding the Impact of a Miscarriage
A miscarriage can affect people in many different ways, and it is important that you recognize the impact it can have if you want to support your partner properly.
Physical Impact
The physical impact of a miscarriage can be incredibly unpleasant for the person who has actually gone through the experience. Your partner’s body may have altered in the same way as it would have if she had given birth. For example, her hormone levels may have become unsteady, and her breasts may have become bigger and tender. Vaginal bleeding and passing of large clots usually occurs too.
Emotional Impact
The emotional effect a miscarriage has can affect both parties. The acute feeling of loss can be very real for both prospective parents. After a miscarriage, you have not only lost a baby, you have lost the expectant future you had envisioned together. Pregnancy loss can make both people in a relationship fear getting pregnant again due to the physical and psychological impact it had the first time around. Your partner may feel a sense of failure and guilt too, and they may feel depressed and empty after the loss.
The Impact on You and Your Relationship
Although you may not be the one who has gone through the miscarriage physically, you will still feel the negative effects of pregnancy loss in some way, as mentioned above. Your dreams of your child, everything you were going to teach them, and the life you planned to share together are all just as real as your partner’s dreams. The impact of a loss can be just as difficult for you as it is for your loved one. After going through a miscarriage, and with both parties of a relationship suffering, tensions can be high. A miscarriage cannot be fixed, and it is easy to feel powerless as you both suffer the consequences. You and your partner need to find ways to help each other cope with your loss.
Let Your Partner Vent
Everyone copes with miscarriage in different ways. Some people might clam up for a number of reasons. It may be due to a sense of depression they might feel due to feelings of guilt and failure. They may not want to burden others with their feelings, or they may find themselves unable to express how they feel. Your partner might find it easy to speak to you or their family and friends about what they are going through, which is great. However, it might also take a while before they open up to anyone. It is essential that you lend a sympathetic and non-judgmental ear to your partner and let them vent their thoughts and emotions whenever they are ready.
Give Them a Shoulder to Cry On
In addition to listening to your partner, simply being there when they need you can gently reassure them that you care for and love them. Your partner may feel deep grief over the loss, and it is important to let them express their sadness for as long as they require. Your partner can only heal after they have finished grieving. Many people feel uncomfortable when others cry, but try to remember that your partner’s tears play an important part in their healing process.
Take Care of Practical Tasks
While your partner grieves, they may not have the emotional or physical energy to complete their usual routine, such as cooking meals, running errands, and doing chores. During this time, you can help your part cope by taking care of practical tasks. Although these tasks may seem small, they will give your partner less to worry about. In turn, they will have more time to focus on their mental and physical health.
Commemorate Your Lost Baby
All couples grieve differently when faced with pregnancy loss. Although there is no right or wrong way to recover, many people find it helpful to honor their lost baby in some way. For some, this could be in the form of memorial items, such as jewelry, candles, and plaques. A gift for miscarriage from Laurelbox can help you both remember and commemorate your lost child.
You are Not Alone in Your Loss
Pregnancy loss is a common occurrence, with up to 20 percent of pregnancies ending in miscarriage. Many losses happen in the early stages of gestation, which means that many women do not even know about their pregnancy before it occurs. As the statistic indicates, pregnancy loss is relatively common. Although this does not make the loss of your baby any easier, it does show that you and your partner are not alone in your loss and that there are many people out there who are going through a similar experience as yourselves.
Seek Professional Help
Many people find it difficult to come to terms with a miscarriage, even if they have a supportive partner and are surrounded by loving people. Grief and loss can put a strain on even the strongest of relationships. It is important to recognize your limitations, and if you think your partner needs a little extra support, it is essential that you seek professional help. There are plenty of pregnancy and infant loss support groups where you and your partner can speak to people who have gone through a similar ordeal.
