The world feels different now. Colder, perhaps. A little muted. Since my mother’s passing, I’ve been navigating uncharted waters, a landscape sculpted by grief and loss. It’s a journey no one wants to take, but one many of us inevitably face. In these early days, even the simplest tasks feel monumental. So, from the raw heart of someone still learning to cope with a death, I offer some bereavement advice – not as an expert, but as a fellow traveller.
Firstly, allow yourself to feel. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Don’t let anyone tell you that you should be “over it” by a certain date. The sadness, the anger, the numbness – they are all valid. Suppressing these emotions only prolongs the healing process. I’ve found myself crying unexpectedly, even laughing at old memories through tear-filled eyes. Embrace it all.
Secondly, be kind to yourself. Losing my mother has been emotionally and physically draining. I’ve learned to prioritize self-care, even when it feels impossible. Simple things like taking a warm bath, going for a walk in nature, or reading a book have offered small pockets of solace. Remember to eat nutritious meals and get as much sleep as possible, even if sleep feels elusive.
Thirdly, lean on your support system. Don’t isolate yourself. Reaching out to friends, family, or a grief counselor can provide much-needed comfort and understanding. Talking about my mother, sharing memories, and simply being heard has been incredibly helpful. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. Let people support you.
Fourthly, honor her memory. Finding ways to keep my mother’s memory alive has been surprisingly comforting. I look through old photographs, cook her favorite recipes, and share stories about her with loved ones. Planting a rose bush in her name or creating a memorial album are other ways to keep her spirit present.
Finally, be patient. Healing takes time. There will be good days and bad days, moments of hope and moments of despair. Don’t expect to “get over” the loss. Instead, learn to live with it, carrying her memory in your heart.
The pain of my mother’s passing is a constant companion, but with each passing day, I find small glimmers of light. I’m learning to navigate this new reality, one breath at a time, guided by the love she instilled in me. And I believe that with patience, self-compassion, and the support of loved ones, we can all find our way through the uncharted waters of grief.